Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry...

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.   2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I read this verse today while laying flat on my back and trying desperately to convince an uncooperative body that this baby needs to be allowed to stay for a bit longer.  I am definitely not delighting in this hardship, but we all have room for improvement right?  Currently, I am just trying to remember that God loves me and this baby and somehow we will both make it through this tough time with His help.  I will admit in the midst of flurries of contractions, I am having a tough time remembering that His grace is sufficient for me.  I want so desperately to take control of this uncontrollable situation and engineer an outcome that I think will be best, but when things quiet down and I can listen to my own heart, I know that God is in control and I need to let go of the need to control this and just do my job.  My current job is to rest flat on my back and relax and try not to panic at the idea of delivering a 31 week old baby into this world.  

So far, the nurses and doctors are doing a great job of slowing down my labor and controlling the situation with medications.  They have been patient and understanding and positive and I thank God for each and every one.  Evenings are difficult as this is when my body seems to kick into overdrive and really want to contract through the meds.  If you have a spare minute in the evenings, say a little extra prayer for peace for both me and Jackson. 

Most importantly, it needs to be noted that Jackson looks great, he is tolerating all of this beautifully.  His ultrasound looked perfect and placed him somewhere over 3 pounds and super active.  He had been monitored continuously by the doctors and has been right on track.  He has now received the full benefit of the steroids that will help mature his lungs and will likely do well no matter when his arrival date.  It won't be easy, but his long term prognosis is good.  

Whatever happens over the next few hours, days and weeks, please know that your prayers and support mean the world to me and I thank God that I have such a great support system.

Amy and Jackson (31 weeks 1 day and praying for many more)  

Baby

This week marks 28 weeks of pregnancy for me and as I sit here typing, the baby (Jackson)  is happily hiccuping away in my belly.  I cannot express the total misery and joy that this little man has brought to me over the last 28 weeks, but let me try...  Weeks 1 through 6 - didn't even know baby existed, found out about baby, shock and awe, excitement.  Weeks 6 through 16 - this was the total misery part...I spent the better part of every day simultaneously starving and throwing up everything I ate or smelled.  Although I have loved him from the second I knew of his existence, this was not what I would call a "wonderful time" for us...  Weeks 16 through present - I couldn't be happier.  I am carrying a healthy baby boy and I am enjoying nearly every second of my last pregnancy.  I love every little kick (and big kick for that matter) and sometimes I wish he and I could stay this way for a long time.  This is truly the honeymoon period for me.  I feel joy and excitement and peace that this is what God has planned for me and for our family.  I am one blessed mommy.